Thursday, June 4, 2009
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Sit Back and Enjoy the Ride
"Relax, everything will turn out okay. I can do this." These are thoughts that seemed to run through my mind the whole length of this course. It has been one crazy, stressful, wild ride. I am glad it is at an end. I will sure miss it. When I first enrolled in English 101D I thought it would be cake. English was my "thing" in high school after all. The class was much more challenging, and rewarding, that I ever though possible. I was taken on an unexpected journey of self-discovery. What a ride! It really was like a roller coaster. When in line to get on the ride I think "this is a joke. It is nothing. The size of this ride is almost laughable." Then the ride begins. There are inclines that seem almost insurmountable. There are vast drop offs that we breeze through so quick it barely gives enough time to brace for the next incline. I laugh and enjoy the ride, but I am so very glad when it is over. I realize that I was barely breathing the whole length of the ride. The "What's next?" anticipation made me hold my breath most of the time. That is how English 101D was for me. I loved the ride, and was glad when it was over. I can breathe easy again.There were three separate units during this course; they included identity, community, and tradition. We read essays, watched movies, and discussed our thoughts , and findings, in a class discussion board. We had to be able to analyze thoroughly all materials. During this course I learned the value of each separate theme, identity, community, and tradition. Our identity contains many elements. Some elements are gender, race, religion, and culture. Two other elements are the communities that we relate to, and the traditions that we uphold. Communities are extremely important in our lives. They include sports, religious affiliations, groups of friends, and even family. We all belong to some form of community. They are there to give us a sense of comfort, and support. Sometimes a community may fail at this or may support a member in a negative way. An example of this is the pro-ana community that Mim Udovitch describes in her essay, "A Secret Society of the Starving." Pro-ana is an online community of "angry girls and women [that] come together to support each other in sickness rather than in health' (Udovitch 114). The members encourage each other in their anorexic lifestyles. When a community does this it makes being a member of that community pointless. The other element, tradition, is usually passed down to younger generations from their parents/grandparents. Traditions can help people feel a sense of stability and comfort. Traditions, just like everything else in life, continually change. Old traditions are revamped or eliminated by newer generations, and new traditions are started every day.
For our portfolio we had to choose four of our best works, one for four different categories. The categories and my selections are:
1. Critical Thinking Piece- "The Internet is Good, or is it Bad?"
2. Revision Piece- "My Uniformed Community"
3. Voice and Audience Piece- "Food, Family, Fun!"
4. Writer's Choice Piece- "All Our Masks"
The critical thinking piece is to show our ability to analyze material. I chose "The Internet is good, or is it bad?" because it shows quite well my ability to analyze, and my personal thoughts in relation to what the writer is saying. "My Uniformed Community" has good bones, but needs some muscle to help support it. I chose to use it as my revision piece, and hope it lives up to it's potential. "Food, Family, Fun!" was a perfect fit when it came time to choose a piece for the voice and audience section. The way this paper is written makes the reader reminiscent of their own family cookouts. They may be able to smell the food on the grill! For the writer's choice piece I decided to use "All Our Masks." This is like the icing on the cake. The paper discusses why people hide behind masks, compared to why Lucy Grealy hid behind her mask. I loved Grealy's essay and feel my portfolio would not be complete without my analysis of her work.
I hope you all enjoy my work as much as I enjoyed writing it. Until this course my work was only seen by the instructors grading it. The experience of sharing my work with fellow students has been quite interesting, and rewarding. I am pleased to share my experiences with you all. Remember, enjoy being who you are. If that requires changing traditions, then change them. IF a community interferes with personal growth, ditch that community, and join one that encourages instead. Above all else, remember what Garrison Keillor says in his essay, "A Woebegon Holiday Dinner," Life is good. Even when it is lousy, it is still good, and thank God for it" (231). We all have bad times, but life really is good, so sit back and enjoy the ride.
Introduction for Critical Thinking Piece: The Internet is Good, or is it Bad?
The critical thinking piece is to showcase our ability to analyze the material we read. I chose to include the piece I wrote in response to community discussion board #3. The assignment was to evaluate the essay "The Museum of Me," by Ellen Ullman. In the essay, Ullman explains that she believes the Internet encourages people to stay at home, and interferes with the building of relationships. We were to analyze her text, decide if we think her concerns were legitimate, and write our response. I believe that analysis is a weak point for me and loved the challenge that English 101D provided. The included essay is a "polished" copy of my response to the discussion board prompt.
The Internet is Good, or is it Bad?
We all have our opinions as to rather the Internet is a good thing, or a bad one. In "The Museum of Me," Ellen Ullman discusses her concerns about the Internet. She says the internet, "represent[s] the very opposite of democracy, which is a method for resolving differences in a relatively orderly manner through mediation of unavoidable civil associations. Yet there can be no notion of resolving differences in a world where each person is entitled to get exactly what he or she wants. Here all needs and desires are equally valid and equally powerful. I'll get mine and you'll get yours; there is no need for compromise and discussion" (644). Ullman is saying that in a world where everyone gets exactly what they want, there is no need for compromise. The world does not function properly in this way, not every person can get everything they want, even with the Internet. We have to associate with other people, and be willing to compromise. That is just a part of life.The Internet can be a good thing to have. Some people, however, abuse the Internet. They spend day and night on it, failing to notice those people that are in their lives. Relationships can break down when this happens. I have actually seen a marriage dissolved because the husband was on the computer all day long, instead of spending time with his wife and children. The wife moved out, filed for divorce, and let her husband keep the computer. Though the outcome in that situation was bad, the Internet is actually a positive force in some people's lives. The Internet can provide the stay at home mom the ability to go to school. It has the capability of helping families separated by long distances, stay in touch by messaging, emails, or even hooking up the web cam and microphone. The Internet can help the agoraphobic person stay connected with the outside world, when they are unable to leave the sanctity that is their home.
The Internet is a tool, the same as any other. When used properly a tool is a good thing, when used improperly tools are dangerous. The Internet can take away the idea of community; when a person stays at home and never associates with other people, they fail to be active community members. The Internet can also bring people together. The idea that by getting on the computer people can get anything their heart desires is absurd. The only way to truly enjoy life is by going out and living it. The computer is no different than any other piece of technology. When it is a beautiful day, shut off the computer, and go outside. Enjoy the museum of "Me" that Ullman discusses in her essay, but enjoy the museum of "We" as well.
Introduction for Revision Piece: My Uniformed Community
In this section we are to take a piece of our work that is in severe need of help, and rewrite it. I wrote the paper "My Uniformed Community" for our paper #2 assignment. We were to write a paper that compared a community from a then and now perspective. We interviewed somebody who was at least 10 years older than ourselves. The paper was to include some conclusion that we were able to deduce from the interview, and our personal experiences. When the piece was written, I thought I did a great job, but looking back I can see that there are definitely improvements that could be done. I started off grabbing the reader's attention, but then I failed to stay on task. I lost the reader along the way. Hopefully the second try will go much more smoothly. Included are my original paper and the revised edition. Enjoy!
My Uniformed Community
The uniform radiates a sense of pride for the world to see. Crisp and white with well defined creases that were ironed to perfection by their wearer and shoes shined to such magnificence that a reflection is visible upon them like a mirror. Donning this uniform automatically makes a person stand more erect and act more dignified. Respect is usually shown to a man or woman in uniform and they are thought of as honest, hardworking, and courageous. The community that wears this uniform is the United States Navy and it is my community. This diverse and unique group is united under a sense of pride and camaraderie. All communities have their beneficial side as well as their down side. A sense of comfort and stability for individuals can be achieved in any given community unless the disadvantages severely outweigh the benefits.
A comparison of the Navy in the 1960s and the Navy today provides a great example of this continued sense of comfort and stability even with the disadvantages present. It was 1962 when my step-father, Thomas Jarboe, joined the military. Things were very different back then compared to today. The Vietnam War was going on and the Civil Rights Movement was taking place. Tom joined the military to get away from his home life. He explained “We didn’t have anything, dirt poor and living in a crime ridden community.” The Navy gave him the financial stability and the comfort that belonging to a community can bring. “The military gave me a chance to get a steady paycheck every two weeks. I was able to send some money home to help my family” said Tom when asked. There were definitely drawbacks to being in the military during the 1960s. Tom was not able to visit home while in the military and only received a letter once every 6 or so week because of the ongoing war. Keeping in touch with family was very difficult. The Navy today is different than the Navy in my step-father’s time but it does have problems as well. My reasons for joining the Navy were similar to Tom’s. The comfort that a steady job far away from home would offer and the added comfort of being with people of similar interests and dreams as me were the reasons that I joined the Navy. Though the Navy was a bright and shiny day after years of rain for me it was not without problems. Operation Iraqi Freedom and the War on Terrorism were taking place. There were frequent deployments for anybody in my career choice, the Hospital Corpsman. Though I myself was never deployed my husband was gone around 12 out of 15 months. This was very hard for my family. It was not as bad as my step-father’s time though because I received phone calls pretty regularly and he was home in between deployments. The benefits that being a member of the Navy provided far outweighed the negatives for my step-father and I, however, this is not always the case for any community, the Navy included.
When a community does not provide enough positives the individual members of that community may withdraw membership. Sometimes when something negative takes place in a community it can cause a split among the members of opposing beliefs as well. In John Hostetler’s essay The Amish Charter he discusses the principles and beliefs that hold the Amish community together. Hostetler also talks about punishment handed out for disobedience including the practice of Bann Und Meidung, which is also known as excommunication and shunning. Shunning is a very strict punishment and there is a split among members to its interpretation. “Among the Amish communities today there are numerous divisions as a result of differing opinions on shunning” (Hostetler 106).There is the ultra strict followers and the moderate followers. The moderate followers allow for removal of the Meidung if the person is restored to their church and goes back to the promises made by the act of baptism. A community that has such strong opposing beliefs among members may actually split into different communities just like the Amish did. No matter which side of the Amish community a person is a member of they will be shunned if they marry outside of the Amish community. This is one example of where a community does not provide comfort or stability for the individual. This type of community is focused on the community as a whole, not the individual members. The benefits of being in a community like this may be outweighed by the disadvantages depending on the circumstances.
Some communities do focus on the individual but do not encourage members in a positive way. Some potential examples of negative groups would be drug abusers, alcohol users, petty criminals, and eating disorder groups. In the essay A Secret Society of the Starving Mim Udovitch discusses an online community for pro-anorexia or Pro-Ana for short. Pro-Ana is an online community that supports members in their fight to stay anorexic. This community does not support people in a positive way. It is there to encourage people to starve themselves into thinness or to “help” a member in a time of weakness when they want to eat. This type of site is “a place where a group of for the most part very unhappy and in some part very angry girls and women come together to support each other in sickness rather than in health” (Udovitch 114). The community supports the individual but does so in a potentially detrimental way. If a community supports members in a negative way or supports a negative life style then the benefits of being in such a group are by far much less than the disadvantages.
Communities are supposed to support the individual in a healthy way that makes them comfortable and gives them a sense of stability. “When communities serve our needs, both the individual and the group benefit” (Latterell 90). Some communities do their job well while others fall short. The benefits of being a part of a community that does not support individual members may be minimal. In a situation such as that the person involved in that community may not be able to get the comfort that belonging to a group provides. For my step-father and I belonging to the Navy community was beneficial to us. For others, such as people who join in communities likes pro-ana or even the person born Amish that faces being shunned for loving an “outsider” the benefits may not be worth the advantages that membership brings.
The uniform radiates a sense of pride for the world to see. Crisp and white, the well-defined creases are ironed to perfection by the wearer of this uniform. Their shoes are shined to such magnificence that a reflection is visible upon them like a mirror. Donning this uniform automat
ically makes a person stand more erect, and act more dignified. Respect is usually shown to a man or woman in uniform, and he/she is thought of as honest, hardworking, and courageous. The community that wears this uniform is the United States Navy, and it is my community. This diverse, and unique, group is united under a sense of pride, and camaraderie. All communities have their beneficial side, as well as their down side. Being a member of a community, rather in the past or present, gives us a sense of comfort and stability; unless the disadvantages far outweigh the advantages of being a part of that community.
A comparison of the Navy in the 1960s, and the Navy today, provides an excellent example of continued comfort, even with disadvantages present. My stepfather, Thomas Jarboe, joined the Navy in 1962. Things were very different back then compared to today. The Vietnam War, as well as the Civil Rights Movement, was going on. Tom joined the Navy to get away from his home life. He explained, "We didn't have anything, dirt poor and living in a crime-ridden community." The Navy gave him financial stability, and the comfort that this stability afforded him. As Tom stated," The military gave me a chance to get a steady paycheck every two weeks. I was able to send money home to help my family. It eased their financial burden." My own reasons for joining the military were similar to my stepfathers. Growing up money was tight. We relied pretty heavily on our church for donations in the form of food, clothing, and Christmas gifts. I wanted a future that was financially stable, and very different from my childhood. The military allowed me the sense of comfort that financial stability provides. Though the Navy supported both me and Tom, not all members are as fortunate. An example of the way the military fails to support members is the ongoing war in Iraq. The corpsman, attached to a marine unit, could be deployed multiple times in as many years. They are more interested in winning the "war" than they are in the needs of individual members. The "suck it up" mentality reins. My husband, Gabriel, was in Iraq for 12 out of 15 months. This was very hard on my husband, and our whole family. The Navy is a good example of both providing support, and failing to do so.
Some communities do not fail to support their members, but supports them in a negative way. Some groups that could be used as examples of negative support may be drug abusers, alcohol misuers, petty criminals, and eating disorder groups. In the essay, "A Secret Society of the Starving," Mim Udovitch discusses an online community for pro-anorexia, or pro-ana for short. Pro-ana is a community that supports members in their fight against eating food. Unlike the Navy, the pro-ana community does not support members in a positive way, nor does it fail in supporting them. The pro-ana community supports individuals in a potentially detrimental way. The site is "A place where a group of for the most part very unhappy and in some part very angry girls and women come together to support each other in sickness rather than in health" (Udovitch 114). When a community supports the members in a negative way, the benefits of being a member are severely limited, and may be largely outweighed by the negatives.
Membership in a community, for the most part, is sought out so we may feel comfort and support from that community. "When communities serve our needs, both the individual and the group benefit" (Latterell 90). Many communities do their job well, while others fall short. The good reasons for being in a community that has minimal benefits may be near non-existent. For my step-father and me, belonging to the Navy community was very beneficial. For others, some in the military, some that are in communities like pro-ana, the benefits are minimal in comparison to the disadvantages. When a situation such as that arises the point in being in that group is lost.
A comparison of the Navy in the 1960s and the Navy today provides a great example of this continued sense of comfort and stability even with the disadvantages present. It was 1962 when my step-father, Thomas Jarboe, joined the military. Things were very different back then compared to today. The Vietnam War was going on and the Civil Rights Movement was taking place. Tom joined the military to get away from his home life. He explained “We didn’t have anything, dirt poor and living in a crime ridden community.” The Navy gave him the financial stability and the comfort that belonging to a community can bring. “The military gave me a chance to get a steady paycheck every two weeks. I was able to send some money home to help my family” said Tom when asked. There were definitely drawbacks to being in the military during the 1960s. Tom was not able to visit home while in the military and only received a letter once every 6 or so week because of the ongoing war. Keeping in touch with family was very difficult. The Navy today is different than the Navy in my step-father’s time but it does have problems as well. My reasons for joining the Navy were similar to Tom’s. The comfort that a steady job far away from home would offer and the added comfort of being with people of similar interests and dreams as me were the reasons that I joined the Navy. Though the Navy was a bright and shiny day after years of rain for me it was not without problems. Operation Iraqi Freedom and the War on Terrorism were taking place. There were frequent deployments for anybody in my career choice, the Hospital Corpsman. Though I myself was never deployed my husband was gone around 12 out of 15 months. This was very hard for my family. It was not as bad as my step-father’s time though because I received phone calls pretty regularly and he was home in between deployments. The benefits that being a member of the Navy provided far outweighed the negatives for my step-father and I, however, this is not always the case for any community, the Navy included.
When a community does not provide enough positives the individual members of that community may withdraw membership. Sometimes when something negative takes place in a community it can cause a split among the members of opposing beliefs as well. In John Hostetler’s essay The Amish Charter he discusses the principles and beliefs that hold the Amish community together. Hostetler also talks about punishment handed out for disobedience including the practice of Bann Und Meidung, which is also known as excommunication and shunning. Shunning is a very strict punishment and there is a split among members to its interpretation. “Among the Amish communities today there are numerous divisions as a result of differing opinions on shunning” (Hostetler 106).There is the ultra strict followers and the moderate followers. The moderate followers allow for removal of the Meidung if the person is restored to their church and goes back to the promises made by the act of baptism. A community that has such strong opposing beliefs among members may actually split into different communities just like the Amish did. No matter which side of the Amish community a person is a member of they will be shunned if they marry outside of the Amish community. This is one example of where a community does not provide comfort or stability for the individual. This type of community is focused on the community as a whole, not the individual members. The benefits of being in a community like this may be outweighed by the disadvantages depending on the circumstances.
Some communities do focus on the individual but do not encourage members in a positive way. Some potential examples of negative groups would be drug abusers, alcohol users, petty criminals, and eating disorder groups. In the essay A Secret Society of the Starving Mim Udovitch discusses an online community for pro-anorexia or Pro-Ana for short. Pro-Ana is an online community that supports members in their fight to stay anorexic. This community does not support people in a positive way. It is there to encourage people to starve themselves into thinness or to “help” a member in a time of weakness when they want to eat. This type of site is “a place where a group of for the most part very unhappy and in some part very angry girls and women come together to support each other in sickness rather than in health” (Udovitch 114). The community supports the individual but does so in a potentially detrimental way. If a community supports members in a negative way or supports a negative life style then the benefits of being in such a group are by far much less than the disadvantages.
Communities are supposed to support the individual in a healthy way that makes them comfortable and gives them a sense of stability. “When communities serve our needs, both the individual and the group benefit” (Latterell 90). Some communities do their job well while others fall short. The benefits of being a part of a community that does not support individual members may be minimal. In a situation such as that the person involved in that community may not be able to get the comfort that belonging to a group provides. For my step-father and I belonging to the Navy community was beneficial to us. For others, such as people who join in communities likes pro-ana or even the person born Amish that faces being shunned for loving an “outsider” the benefits may not be worth the advantages that membership brings.
The uniform radiates a sense of pride for the world to see. Crisp and white, the well-defined creases are ironed to perfection by the wearer of this uniform. Their shoes are shined to such magnificence that a reflection is visible upon them like a mirror. Donning this uniform automat
ically makes a person stand more erect, and act more dignified. Respect is usually shown to a man or woman in uniform, and he/she is thought of as honest, hardworking, and courageous. The community that wears this uniform is the United States Navy, and it is my community. This diverse, and unique, group is united under a sense of pride, and camaraderie. All communities have their beneficial side, as well as their down side. Being a member of a community, rather in the past or present, gives us a sense of comfort and stability; unless the disadvantages far outweigh the advantages of being a part of that community.A comparison of the Navy in the 1960s, and the Navy today, provides an excellent example of continued comfort, even with disadvantages present. My stepfather, Thomas Jarboe, joined the Navy in 1962. Things were very different back then compared to today. The Vietnam War, as well as the Civil Rights Movement, was going on. Tom joined the Navy to get away from his home life. He explained, "We didn't have anything, dirt poor and living in a crime-ridden community." The Navy gave him financial stability, and the comfort that this stability afforded him. As Tom stated," The military gave me a chance to get a steady paycheck every two weeks. I was able to send money home to help my family. It eased their financial burden." My own reasons for joining the military were similar to my stepfathers. Growing up money was tight. We relied pretty heavily on our church for donations in the form of food, clothing, and Christmas gifts. I wanted a future that was financially stable, and very different from my childhood. The military allowed me the sense of comfort that financial stability provides. Though the Navy supported both me and Tom, not all members are as fortunate. An example of the way the military fails to support members is the ongoing war in Iraq. The corpsman, attached to a marine unit, could be deployed multiple times in as many years. They are more interested in winning the "war" than they are in the needs of individual members. The "suck it up" mentality reins. My husband, Gabriel, was in Iraq for 12 out of 15 months. This was very hard on my husband, and our whole family. The Navy is a good example of both providing support, and failing to do so.
Some communities do not fail to support their members, but supports them in a negative way. Some groups that could be used as examples of negative support may be drug abusers, alcohol misuers, petty criminals, and eating disorder groups. In the essay, "A Secret Society of the Starving," Mim Udovitch discusses an online community for pro-anorexia, or pro-ana for short. Pro-ana is a community that supports members in their fight against eating food. Unlike the Navy, the pro-ana community does not support members in a positive way, nor does it fail in supporting them. The pro-ana community supports individuals in a potentially detrimental way. The site is "A place where a group of for the most part very unhappy and in some part very angry girls and women come together to support each other in sickness rather than in health" (Udovitch 114). When a community supports the members in a negative way, the benefits of being a member are severely limited, and may be largely outweighed by the negatives.
Membership in a community, for the most part, is sought out so we may feel comfort and support from that community. "When communities serve our needs, both the individual and the group benefit" (Latterell 90). Many communities do their job well, while others fall short. The good reasons for being in a community that has minimal benefits may be near non-existent. For my step-father and me, belonging to the Navy community was very beneficial. For others, some in the military, some that are in communities like pro-ana, the benefits are minimal in comparison to the disadvantages. When a situation such as that arises the point in being in that group is lost.
Introduction for Voice and Audience Piece: Food, Family, Fun!
The purpose in this piece is to show our awareness of audience. When writing, I usually do not pay any attention to the fact that other people will read it. I just try to follow the guidelines for the assignment. I believe that people will be able to relate very well to this assignment. I discuss a traditional family gathering, that centers around food, and it radiates with emotion. The audience will be able to connect on a more personal level with it, because it will make them remember their own family cookouts. Having other people read my work has been a major challenge. I was initially very uncomfortable with the fact that I had to share my work. By the time I wrote "Food, Family, Fun!" my level of comfort in knowing that people will, in fact, read what I write increased tenfold. This is probably one of my favorite assignments, because it made me go home again, at least in my mind.
Food, Family, Fun!
The sound of children, laughing and playing, can be heard on a beautiful summer's day. A group of adults sit around a table on the deck, drinking, smoking, and playing cards. Occasionally heard is someone shouting, "You're cheating," "Bullshit," or maybe something even more vulgar if they are losing significantly enough. The smell of the grill permeates the air with the tantalizing aromas of highly anticipated food. This is the scene of a traditional summer cookout at my mom's house; which takes place almost every weekend from the middle of June through to the end of August. All of the "traditional" foods would be present during one of my mom's cookouts. Always up for grabs would be hotdogs, cheeseburgers, chicken breast, and maybe even some steak. Side items would include potato salad, chips with dip, baked beans, corn on the cob, and deviled eggs. Dessert would usually include a choice of watermelon, cantaloupe, strawberry shortcake, and ice cream. Once everyone grabs a plate of food they try to find a place to sit. There is never enough chairs for everyone, so the children eat out on the lawn, in a picnic style meal. Over dinner we enjoy the time "shooting the shit," just talking, laughing, and enjoying our time together.
The center of my family's traditional summer get together is food. As my mom says, "if you feed them, they will come." When I think of a tradition that relates to food in my family, the cookouts always come to mind first. Though my family celebrates Thanksgiving, Christmas, and even New Years, those do not come to my mind when I think of a traditional family gathering. Our family cookout is what it means to go home. I feel a deep sense of peace during this time. Summer is upon us once again; I will be going home.
Introduction for Writer's Choice: All Our Masks
For the writer's choice piece I decided to use "All Our Masks." This was my writing from the identity unit discussion board #1. Though this is not like any of the other choices, I felt it was important to add. The assignment consisted of a brainstorming paragraph, as well as three quotes, and what we believe those quotes to be saying. The essay we were to analyze was "Masks," by Lucy Grealy. Using my own personal experience better enabled me to analyze what she was saying, and feeling, in her essay. I had to add this piece to the portfolio as it would not be complete without it. Her emotions were able to show through easily in her writing, and it made me connect easily with the author. Being able to connect with the author made this one of my favorite assignments, and that connection made my writing much better.
All Our Masks
When I was 9 years old I was involved in a hit and run accident. I was crossing the street when a car ran a red light, and I was unfortunate enough to be in its path. I have no memory of the actual accident; in fact I was unconscious for hours afterwards. I only know the story from the numerous witnesses present. My body slammed into the windshield, and then bounced off. My face scraped across the pavement before my body came to rest in the middle of the road. Only the right side of my face scraped the pavement. When I was well enough to go back to school, I was called "two-face" by some mean kids, after the infamous batman villain. I did not appreciate being made fun of, and wished for a "normal" face again. A month of healing really seems like a lifetime to a child. Because of this personal experience I can relate, at least in a small way, to Grealy's story. Grealy had cancer, and her face was scarred from it. She was in a major state of denial. In her essay "Masks," she explained that she was okay with everything, yet she hand not looked in the mirror for almost two years. She was hiding from herself. If I don't see it then it is not there. She also felt that happiness and love were not allowed or deserved. She pretended that she did not want anything to do with love. Lucy Grealy, as a child, was not coping well with her deformity. Writing an essay about her experience shows that she must have figured out a way to cope, and may have even achieved happiness later in life.
"For weeks I pictured the ruined estate where Zhivago wrote his sonnets, aware that the true splendor of the house was inextricably bound to the fact that it was ruined. I didn't understand why this should be so, and I didn't understand why imagining this scene gave me such a deep sense of fulfillment, nor why this fulfillment was mingled with such a sad sense of longing, nor why this longing only added to the beauty of everything else" (Grealy 44).
This passage shows that Grealy wanted to break out of her depressive state and join the "normal" world, but she just didn't know how to. When Grealy thought about the place where Zhivago wrote, she thought the place was beautiful because it was "broken." The feeling of fulfillment was because she subconsciously realized that even though some things are not perfect, they may be beautiful because of this imperfection. The sense of longing she experienced was due to her inability to feel like the estate, beautiful because it was ruined. Grealy's sense of longing added to the beauty of other things, because it was like adding fuel to a fire. Her inability to feel beautiful made other things seem that much more beautiful. Lucy Grealy was unable to grasp the full extend of her desire to be as beautiful as the estate, not despite its ruined state, but because of it.
"I wanted nothing to do with the world of love; I thought wanting love was a weakness to be overcome. And besides, I thought to myself, the world of love wanted nothing to do with me" (Grealy 45).
Grealy used a facade of not wanting or needing love. She hid from the fact that she was desperately lonely. Lucy Grealy feels that nobody could ever love her because of her "ruined" face, so she puts up the front of not wanting love. This passage is important because it shows how poorly she was dealing with her deformity. She really needed somebody to show her that she is still as good of a person as anybody else, not less so because of her scarred face.
"It was only as the night wore on and the moon came out and the older kids, the big kids, went on their rounds that I began to realize why I felt so good. No one could see me clearly. No one could see my face" (Grealy 43).
This passage really stood out to me because of how truly sad it is. Grealy felt more comfortable and "normal" behind a mask that she ever could in daily life. Her freedom came from hiding behind a mask. Most people hide behind masks, metaphorically, so that they can hide from life. Lucy Grealy hid behind a mask, not so she could hide from life, but so that she could stop hiding from life.
Lucy Grealy shared her personal story with us all. I felt very emotionally connected with her as a writer. She was able to make people feel the pain, and sadness, that she her was feeling. I believe that by writing this story, for the world to read, she was able to live life more fully. Grealy was able to stop hiding from life. She was initially acting like her deformity did not bother her in the least, but in reality it was the center of her universe. By writing this story, Lucy Grealy was no longer hiding behind a mask. Maybe we should all follow in her footsteps and quit hiding from life.
"For weeks I pictured the ruined estate where Zhivago wrote his sonnets, aware that the true splendor of the house was inextricably bound to the fact that it was ruined. I didn't understand why this should be so, and I didn't understand why imagining this scene gave me such a deep sense of fulfillment, nor why this fulfillment was mingled with such a sad sense of longing, nor why this longing only added to the beauty of everything else" (Grealy 44).
This passage shows that Grealy wanted to break out of her depressive state and join the "normal" world, but she just didn't know how to. When Grealy thought about the place where Zhivago wrote, she thought the place was beautiful because it was "broken." The feeling of fulfillment was because she subconsciously realized that even though some things are not perfect, they may be beautiful because of this imperfection. The sense of longing she experienced was due to her inability to feel like the estate, beautiful because it was ruined. Grealy's sense of longing added to the beauty of other things, because it was like adding fuel to a fire. Her inability to feel beautiful made other things seem that much more beautiful. Lucy Grealy was unable to grasp the full extend of her desire to be as beautiful as the estate, not despite its ruined state, but because of it.
"I wanted nothing to do with the world of love; I thought wanting love was a weakness to be overcome. And besides, I thought to myself, the world of love wanted nothing to do with me" (Grealy 45).
Grealy used a facade of not wanting or needing love. She hid from the fact that she was desperately lonely. Lucy Grealy feels that nobody could ever love her because of her "ruined" face, so she puts up the front of not wanting love. This passage is important because it shows how poorly she was dealing with her deformity. She really needed somebody to show her that she is still as good of a person as anybody else, not less so because of her scarred face.
"It was only as the night wore on and the moon came out and the older kids, the big kids, went on their rounds that I began to realize why I felt so good. No one could see me clearly. No one could see my face" (Grealy 43).
This passage really stood out to me because of how truly sad it is. Grealy felt more comfortable and "normal" behind a mask that she ever could in daily life. Her freedom came from hiding behind a mask. Most people hide behind masks, metaphorically, so that they can hide from life. Lucy Grealy hid behind a mask, not so she could hide from life, but so that she could stop hiding from life.
Lucy Grealy shared her personal story with us all. I felt very emotionally connected with her as a writer. She was able to make people feel the pain, and sadness, that she her was feeling. I believe that by writing this story, for the world to read, she was able to live life more fully. Grealy was able to stop hiding from life. She was initially acting like her deformity did not bother her in the least, but in reality it was the center of her universe. By writing this story, Lucy Grealy was no longer hiding behind a mask. Maybe we should all follow in her footsteps and quit hiding from life.
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